Journey of the Prodigal's Mother

I've taken to blogging again out of necessity. I really don't care if anyone ever reads this, I just need to put down in writing what God has been doing and how he is working so that my brain can begin to process things. Six weeks ago, my dear son, who we adopted 4 years ago, decided to run away from home. I know people tell me that an 18 year-old can't run away from home, but when you show up at the house unannounced with a big truck and throw all your posessions into it and take them to a place where I can't find you, I call that running away.

We've since found out that he returned to his birth family that he hasn't had any contact with since he was 4 years old. If that wasn't a big enough dagger in our hearts, he won't tell us exactly where he is living so we can't come see him or just see the house where he is. At times the pain is almost unbearable and the wounding was nearly fatal for me. It is God, and God alone that has brought us through the past 6 weeks. At times his anger was too much to bear and we couldn't figure out what we had done to drive our much loved son away. The lonliness and isolation has been the very worst part.  There are just no answers anywhere.

God reminded me about a week ago that recently I had asked Him to teach me to pray. Had I known that this was going to be the experience that He would bring about to teach me this, I probably would have kept my mouth shut. I am learning to pray like I never have before and in a completely different way than I ever have. I cling to the pouch full of scripture cards in my purse more tightly than I do my credit cards or driver's license. God is showing himself faithful and I am learning to hand Him the ball and get out of His way.

Our pastor has been doing a sermon on having the Mind of Christ. So many things pop up in the day that I really have to sit back and meditate on just what Jesus would do in a situation about Facebook or other things I haven't been able to find in my concordance yet. Christ is forcing me to sit back and be still and listen for answers instead of just charging ahead in a Peter-like fashion with my brain 10 steps behind.

I have found a support group who also have experienced a prodigal in their lives and we are trusting God together for the banquet feast when their children return to God first, and then to their families. As we share God's faithfulness together, we are all encouraged and it helps give us the strenght to continue our journey.

Final India Post

Well, I am finally on my way back home. It has been an amazing experience that was ran the gamut of emotions and experiences. Our schedules were packed pretty tightly and we had little down time so I was unable to blog like I had wanted to and share my experiences.

Things ranged from the very high, when I got to meet my dear Sanjay after about 13 years of sponsoring him and sharing a very special day. I could not have imagined things going any better unless I had gotten to bring him home to add him to our family. There was also sadness on the day we visited the project that serves the children of the rag pickers. These people live around a city dump and when the garbage is dumped daily, they go through other people’s waste looking for things to sell or recycle and that’s how they make their living. Compassion has rescued these children from having to do this any longer although most of their parents still do. When we were spending time with the children at the project, I had brought along some nail polish to paint the toenails of the girls. As I painted their nails I could see that most of their toenails were infected with fungus as a result of walking through the garbage daily. They were dirty and ragged and it broke my heart to see them. In the same way, it blessed us all so to hear them praising Jesus and reciting their Bible verses. God is changing lives in India.

So, I leave with mixed emotions…There are things I will cherish about India and things I definitely will not miss.

Things I will miss about India
1. The beautiful children and wonderful staff and parents we met at the Compassion office.
2. The fragrant smell of incense that wafted from many stores and homes.
3. Nan- I probably spelled that wrong but it’s an Indian bread served at most meals that I pretty much lived on.
4. My amazing fellow Compassion sponsors and staff. We had a lot of laughs and special times. I will never, ever forget these beautiful people and will cherish their memories always.
5. The beautiful flowers that are everywhere in Indian, in women’s hair, at the doors of homes and shops. There are literally flowers everywhere and I loved that.

Things I will not miss about India
1. Everyone in India is in a hurry and will knock you down or step in front of you without a second thought.
2. The odor, smoke and dust that filled out noses from the street side fires, garbage and dirt.
3. Indian food….so spicy you just wouldn’t believe it and predominantly vegetarian.. This little Southern girl needs a hamburger in the worst way!
4. The traffic. I’m convinced that the Indian traffic is where Disney got their inspiration for Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride!
5. The garbage piled everywhere…I mean everywhere. It was depressing for me, it has to be depressing for those who have to face it every day.

I am so glad I came to India. God is working in a mighty way through some amazing people. I believe that the future generations of India will forever be changed due to their obedience to God’s call despite overwhelming odds and circumstances. Of their five loaves and two fishes God is going to multiply and do great things in this future generation. I, for one will be waiting in expectation to see what wonderful things God is going to accomplish in the country of India.

I’m so anxious to talk to all of you face to face…and to sleep in my own bed! Will post pictures tomorrow…promise!

Love to all!

Nagpur Day 1

Another day in India has ended. I can’t believe I’ve already been here a week and our time is running out. We spent all day yesterday traveling. We got up at 3:00 in the morning for a flight to Mumbai and then had a long layover before our flight to Nagpur. All of these flights are getting exhausting and the people in the airports aren’t at all patient with people who don’t speak their languages. Everything is done differently in the airports than here in America and it’s really confusing…but we made it.

We spent today serving at a CSC (Child Survival Center). This is a Compassion project that serves mothers and their babies. It offers these women prenatal care, gives the children their immunizations and does twice monthly home checks to see that the children are eating right and are healthy and thriving.

Like the other places we have visited, we were welcomed with pomp and circumstance and flower garlands. I could get used to this…just kidding. We were honored with a program of cultural dances by local children. At one point they had us come up onto the stage to dance with them. I took a bad step at the edge of the stage and fell off onto a pile of rocks about 2 feet down. Luckily I was in the back row and almost nobody saw me…I’m such a clutz! I escaped with only a minor cut and scrape to my knee and a slightly bruised ego.

We served the mothers and their children a hot lunch and then had a delicious lunch of our own. The food has improved dramatically since we arrived in Nagpur…I’ve actually enjoyed eating since I got here. After lunch we went to the home of one of the women that is served by the CSC. Once again, the home was one room approximately 7x7. Five people lived in this house, 3 adults and 2 children. She was telling us that before her daughter was in the program she had regular seizures but now, since she gets regular medical care and medication, she has been seizure free for the past 6 months. What a blessing to see human hands on the love of Jesus. So many of the workers could make more money elsewhere, but choose to live their lives loving these people who need them desperately.

Once again, when we left, the neighbors were all gathered around because they heard their were white people in the village. We are like a walking freak show in these tiny remote villages.

The ride back to the hotel took about 1.5 hours and let me take this opportunity to say something about the driving in India…it is not for the faint of heart. First of all, they drive on the wrong side of the road, which totally freaks me out. Second of all, EVERYONE in India is in a hurry, so they don’t bother with lanes or safe distances or speed limits. They drive with their horns and headlights. I have never in my life heard so much honking. You honk to get someone out of your way. Your honk if you’re passing. You honk if the guy in front of you is going too slow…you honk and honk and honk. Also, you seldom drive more that 2 feet away from the guy in front of you, no matter your speed, that way we can fit more bikes, scooters, motorcycles, buses and cows on the highway….it’s and incredible experience to ride in these buses with Indian drivers. It’s the same way on the streets and in hotels. Men and women will plow you over getting out of an elevator and in the “women only” lanes of the security checks in the airport, Indian women will blatantly step in front of you in line. It’s kind of become a game for us as to who can stop the most intruders….crazy!!

The food at our new hotel is really good thankfully, but we’ve learned things like in India, there is only one key to your room. If you leave for the day with your room key, the room will not be cleaned. My shower has no ledge between the shower and the rest of the bathroom, only two small drain holes so most days when I’m done with my shower ¾ of the bathroom is flooded…interesting design. And there are buckets everywhere, I’m not quite sure what they’re for, but I’m not touching them…eewww.

Thanks again for all of your prayers. Please be in special prayer for me as my legs continue to swell badly and it’s giving me the willies a little bit. I have serious CANKLES! But seriously, the swelling is causing pain in my feet and we do a great deal of walking throughout the day.

I promise I'll post pictures later today.

Love to you all!

My Big Day....Meeting Sanjay!

Could today have been any better? I don’t think so. God continues to shower me with “more than I could ever ask or imagine” gifts. Today was one of those days. I have waited so long to meet Sanjay and he has begged me for so many years to come, I prayed to God that neither of us would blow this day out of proportion and be disappointed.

Sanjay was waiting excitedly for me on the bus. When we met I gave him a huge hug and told him how very excited I was to meet him. I found out that he had taken a 7 hour train ride to get to me and had come with his mother and a Compassion worker. Both were beautiful women and we hit it off from the start.

We had about an hour bus ride to Queensland, an Indian amusement park. We chatted excitedly for the ride and even called Florida so that Sanjay could talk to Jason. Neither of us could stop smiling. It was so wonderful!

We had a great day at the park. He had never ridden rides like this before and everything was new to him, It was so much fun and God was even gracious enough to not let me get so motion sick that I couldn’t enjoy the day. What an interesting place Queensland was. . (Disney, you don’t have anything to worry about). As we sat on a bench chatting a man came by and was spraying a very powerful insecticide on the bushes near us. The smell in the park was horrible and it was a run down dump but the kids loved it.

At lunchtime, I got to give Sanjay the gifts I had gotten for him and his mother. What fun to bless these people with gifts. They had a mini talent show and Sanjay sang a song for me. Later I returned the favor and sang a song for him. We all had a great time. After that, we had a time of prayer for our children, their families and their projects….what a sweet time!

At long last it was time to go home. They had us say our goodbyes and give our hugs before we got on the bus to ride home. I could see tears welling up in his eyes and it touched me so deeply that he felt that strongly and had never met me. We had an emotional ride home on the bus where he thanked me over and over again for coming. He told me that for years when sponsors had come, he had always wondered when his sponsor would come. I was so glad to be able to answer his dream and guilty that I hadn’t come sooner. He asked me over and over when I would come back. I assured him that if God would provide the funds and opportunity again, that I would come.

As we got off the bus, Sanjay had tears streaming down his face. I haven’t been that deeply touched and honored in such a long time. I embraced him, told him how much he was loved and assured him that we would see each other some day.

There were so many touching moments today that I can’t even begin to scratch the surface. Sometimes you can’t express things and you just have to ponder and treasure them in your heart.

All of you who helped me get here, to you I owe such a debt of gratitude. This is an experience that I am so glad that I did not miss.

Well, tomorrow we’re on a plane at 4 a.m. to fly to Delhi to deliver supplies to an infant protection center and also deliver supplies to another project. Pray for our team as we are exhausted both emotionally and physically….please also pray that the money holds out!

Love and gratitude to God and to you all!

A day filled with friends and dancing

What an amazing day! We got to finally meet with the children at a Compassion project. It's so humbling that we came to serve these people but it's these that have so little who have strived so hard to serve us.
When we arrived at the project we were immediately surrounded by children. As we walked into the church, we were showered with flower petals as a sign of welcome.
The children were as excited to see us as we were them. They entertained us with Indian dancing and a child and a mother shared with us how Compassion had helped to change their lives. It was very, very touching.

After that, we got to just spend time with the children. They were so talkative and loved taking pictures of us and having their pictures taken. They even ATTEMPTED to teach us how to Indian dance. They had a good laugh watching us swing our hips around like a crazy Americans. It was a blast!

After that we got to go and visit a home of a Compassion sponsored child and her family. Although they are in poverty, they welcomed us with cookies and coffee and were so gracious. The house consisted of 2 rooms for 5 people. They slept on mats on the floor; there was no shower or bathroom. The home had a thatched roof and each room measured about 7x7. I hope I could be that gracious under those circumstances. They had been recipients of one of the water purifiers that Compassion has been handing out to it's program family. This purified water helps cut down on about 90% of the water born diseases these people used to get...what a blessing and how proud I was to be a part of this program.

As we were leaving the neighbors were gathering around trying to get a look at us. They had their hands out trying to shake our hands. I reached out and shook a woman's hand and her eyes began to well up with tears. Our translator said she was shocked that I would be willing to touch her or shake her hand. I went over to her and gave her a big hug and said that is how we greet in America. She was so overcome and couldn't get over it.

In the bus, our translator told us that because of the caste system, these people feel unworthy of love and kindness from those they feel are "above" them. They don't believe that westerners would ever want anything to do with them. I found that so sad and was so happy that I was able to step out of my comfort zone to share love with this woman. It made my day.
Well. tomorrow is the big day!!! I get to meet Sanjay face to face!!!! I have waited for this day for about 13 years and cannot wait to see him. We will be meeting on the bus about 8:45 in the morning and riding to spend the day at a theme park about an hour away along with the other sponsors and their children. Please pray that we have an amazing day. He is such a part of my heart although we've never met. This boy writes letters that would melt the hardest heart. Pray that my expectations (and his especially) are not too high and we would just enjoy each other's company.

Time to try to sleep now...AS IF!
bye now!

India Day 3

Wow! What another amazing day in India! I am continually impressed with the national Indian church and the Compassion staff here. What a heart these people have for the children of India and are trusting God to change India one family at a time through the lives of India's children.
Today after a little bit of shopping in the morning we went to visit the Indian Institute of Technology. We were there to visit a young man named Rajnish, a student who is in the Compassion Leadership Program. This program is for students who have graduated from the Compassion Children's Program and helps them as they continue through the university. Rajnish was blessed enough to be accepted into this school. 500.000 people apply each year, 600 make the first cut, and then only the top 60 are chosen. Students from this school are guaranteed prestigious jobs throughout the world. It was a blessing to hear how Rajnish, a child from a very poor family, was able through his attending a Compassion center to receive the education and encouragement to continue this education.

Rajnish is studying to become a communications engineer and is now a volunteer at a Compassion center and is planning on going back to his poor area after he completes school to bless others as he's been blessed.
That will be the fulfillment of the goals of Compassion International. Rajnish and his family were former Hindus who found the love of Jesus through a Compassion center and are now going out and changing their communities.
I think we often forget that that is how true change is made. I often feel insignificant because I can't change the world. But if we can contribute to the change of one person, if we can introduce someone to Jesus, then HE can change their hearts and set off a chain reaction that we could never imagine.
I have been so challenged by these people who have nothing and yet are attempting and expecting great and mighty things from God. I think that's the very reason they're receiving them, because they believe God and take him at his word. What a challenge for me.
All around is poverty and despair but these people through God will change India. In the stores on the streets, people pray to gods of wood and stone who have no hearing or sight and cannot help them. I am honored to be with people who carry the name of Jesus into the darkness so proudly and with such boldness!

Tomorrow we visit our first Compassion center and get to interact with the children. I have an empty suitcase now!...I know I'll be tempted to stick a few kids in there and bring them back to the U.S. with me!
Please pray for the team. We're all suffering from lack of sleep and the complete time change and it's making a few of them pretty testy. I know Satan would love to drive a wedge between us and cause division to take away from our mission.
I miss the U.S. very much. I really miss my family and it's so hard to be away from them. Again, I also miss MEAT! This is a weird, funky place when it comes to food....yikes!
Love to you all!

India Day 1

Wow! We're certainly not in Kansas anymore. At the end of my first full day in India I can only think about one thing...sleep!
The day began with breakfast (as most people's day does) although if American's ate as spicy of food as they do here, we would be a much smellier nation. Everything at the buffet is listed only under it's Indian name so I have no idea what I'm eating. It has made for some pretty spicy surprises!!! If I could sum up the food here in one word, it would have to be YUK! What I wouldn't give for a Big Mac right now!
Today we visited the Compassion office here in Chennai. We got to meet the staff and hear about the amazing work they are doing with the children of India. The goals that they have for these kids, and their parents will hopefully one day revolutionize the family in India and bring people out of poverty and substance abuse dependence so that they can end the cycle of poverty and despair this country suffers from. 40% of the world's poor are in the country of India. Compassion has some great plans to help end that sad statistic.
We were welcomed by beautiful girls in saris tossing flower petals on our heads as we walked up the stairs towards them. In the center of the room we entered was a large candle stand with circles of flower petals around it. In the basins of the stand was oil and candle wicks. We were all given a candle with which to light one of the wicks as a sign of welcome. We then walked down the hallway toward the meeting room. As we walked we were sprinkled with rose water, our hands were rubbed with sandalwood paste, flowers were put in our hair and we were given sugar candy to eat. Each thing had a special welcome meaning for us.

In the conference room, we were greeted by young girls doing an Indian dance to a praise song, followed by worship time with the Indian staff. It was a lovely time together.

Oh, and I forgot one thing here...the TRAFFIC! Oh my goodness, it makes New York City look like a kiddie ride...no traffic lights, no cops directing...just millions of people honking their horns as they come close to killing each other...there's just no way to describe the mayhem! I'm so glad that God is on the throne but I'd rather have him behind the wheel!

Tomorrow we will visit some of the students that have begun college training in preparation for graduating from the compassion program. We're all looking forward to Thursday when we will finally get to meet our children...I'll keep you posted!