Volcanoooooo!!!

So many people have asked about this week-long visit with Devin. It is so reassuring to know that people are praying for us as we transition into this new stage of our lives.

Things are going really well. They're not perfect, but life with your bio-kids is seldom perfect...actually never! The honeymoon period is pretty much over and the kids get on each other's nerves sometimes, but they have a lot of fun together and I can't imagine life without him now. He has become such a precious part of our family. He fits the one requirement to be a part of our family...he makes me laugh! My very favorite thing about my family is that there is so much laughter in our home. Yes, we're weird people, but we think that we're hysterical!

My main concern for now is keeping the boy alive. Not ever having boys before I was not prepared for the boundless energy that one would bring bring. I thought that by 14, he should be winding down a bit, but oh, was I mistaken. One of his favorite things to do is to ride his bike straight toward a tree or sign post and yell "Brake Test!" and slam on the brakes as hard as he can. OK, boys are weird! In the house, he is constantly rolling off of the couch onto his head! He thinks it's so funny! I told the social worker last night when she asked me about our goal that just keeping him from cracking his skull open would seem like a victory to me.....Wow!

One of my favorite surprises about Devin is how quickly and how much he likes to snuggle. At night while we're watching TV, I put a big pillow in my lap and he'll put his head on the pillow and let me snuggle with him. Most times, he is the initiator. This just melts my heart because I had expected that it would take so much longer than it has for him to feel this comfortable and I never dreamed that he would be such a snuggler. I was afraid he would be too cool to love his momma! Thank you Jesus!

The pictures are from the Rainforest Cafe. We went out to get a Volcano desert the other night. We like it because when they bring it out they flash the lights and all of the waiters yell "Volcano!" We love to celebrate dessert...hey, life is short, celebrate as much as you can, especially if it's chocolate!

In just over a week, he should be here permanently. God does answer prayers, and his timing is perfect. This will be worth the wait.

In His Time

Galatians 4:3-5

But when the right time came, the time God decided on, he sent his Son,born of a woman, born as a Jew, to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law so that he could adopt us as his very own sons.TLB

I have been thinking a lot lately about the perfect timing of God. It seems to come up everywhere in my life, even places far outside of the adoption. God seems to be showing me over and over that He has control of my life, and not control in an overbearing way. I get the mental picture of how good it feels to be in a car where someone you trust is driving and you can put your head back, close your eyes and just enjoy the ride. God's mercy and love is so overwhelming to me at this time in my life. He is using people close to me and my circumstances to teach me to lean back and enjoy the ride because I can completely trust him!

Coincidentally enough, these verses were in my devotional this morning. I kind of chuckled to myself as once again this lesson is brought to my attention. God must know how thick my skull is!

Anyway, today we are one step closer to permanency. Devin comes home today for 10 days in preparation for the final move. This is all he talks about and I know that he is excited/anxious/stressed about the whole thing. After the 10 days, he goes back to GOV for 5 days and then will be permanently placed. He was telling me about the procedure involved. The social worker comes to the school and un-enrolls him. Next she goes to GOV and they pack his things and drives him to our home. He said this will be the longest car ride of his life, he will be so anxious to get home for the last time!

I was saddened when he was telling me this only because this procedure was so familiar to him. He had done it twice before, only to be sent back. How conflicted and anxious his little heart must be over the next few weeks. Please pray for peace and confidence for him that this is it, and that he can trust us. Pray that we can say the right words and God would calm his heart so he can put his head back and enjoy the ride as well!

Love to all!

Long Weekend!

Look at the poor little guy...he's plain tuckered out! We had a very long, yet completely great weekend together. Hopefully we will only have to return him to GOV two more times before he gets to come home permanently! This coming weekend he comes home for a 10-day visit. We are so excited!

I love having Devin in the kitchen with me. Neither of my girls were particularly interested in cooking with me but my guy is in there all the time. I'm also a notoriously early riser and I love that Devin sets his alarm so that he can get up with me. Saturday we got up before everyone and snuck out to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. What a special time.

Today we had our family pictures taken. Anyone in the Orlando area I'd like to give a shout-out to Cory Callahan. What a gifted photographer he is and so easy to work with. Check out his stuff at http://www.corycallahan.com/. You won't be sorry. Anyway, it was great having Devin in the pictures with us. I can't wait to share the pictures with you.

God is good. So often I don't understand or see, but He is good. Speaking of tuckered out...that's me. Peace out!

Small Things That Overwhelm My Heart

As we go through this adoption process, I have learned that you have to celebrate small things in order to keep your sanity. I've tried to do this as much as possible. Today a few of the small things have added up to make huge, wonderful memories in my heart.

Devin and I had our first "mom date" tonight. My girls have had "daddy dates" since they were small and I told them that it was my turn. We went out for dinner and had fun talking and laughing together. Tonight he laid on the couch and let me scratch his head while we watched TV. And later as I tucked all three of my kids in bed and kissed them goodnight, I was overcome with such a sense of awe and gratitude at what a privilege it is to be a mom. I'm also greatly blessed with a husband who was willing to walk this road with me and has given me what my heart always dreamed of.

As I was having my quiet time yesterday, I read the famous Jeremiah 29:11 verse. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Sounds great, huh? What I had never noticed before is that this promise was given to Israel while it was in captivity to Babylon. What's more, God did not deliver them immediately to the hope and future stuff. They had to be in captivity for 70 years before this promise would take hold. Sometimes I think that we don't understand that God does have plans to prosper us and give us the hope and future, but it doesn't mean that things will necessarily go the way we want them to right now. Captivity and pain have purpose in God's plan. I've had such a hard time waiting in this process (and still do) but God seemed to be reminding me that the hard and lonely times are sometimes His perfect plan for me too.

Well, today there is no pain, only joy. We still have to wait to have our boy in our home full time, but today's precious gifts from God are enough to get me through. I will celebrate the small things remembering that God's guiding hand never leaves me even when I can't see it or understand it.

Ps 34:1-10

1 I will praise the LORD at all times.
I will constantly speak his praises.

2 I will boast only in the LORD;
let all who are discouraged take heart.

3 Come, let us tell of the LORD's greatness;
let us exalt his name together.

4 I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me,
freeing me from all my fears.

5 Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;
no shadow of shame will darken their faces.

6 I cried out to the LORD in my suffering, and he heard me.
He set me free from all my fears.

7 For the angel of the LORD guards all who fear him,
and he rescues them.

8 Taste and see that the LORD is good.
Oh, the joys of those who trust in him!

9 Let the LORD's people show him reverence,
for those who honor him will have all they need.

10 Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry,
but those who trust in the LORD will never lack any good thing.
NLT

It's Almost Over!

Today was one of the most frightening days of my life. I went to what I thought was a routine meeting about our support of Devin's continued contact with his one-year-old brother who is also a foster child. When I got there, I realized that I was in a staffing to decide whether or not the state was going to even allow the boys to be adopted separately. In my mind I kept thinking, "you've got to be kidding"! All of this time and attachment and now you're telling me that you're not sure if you're going to allow these boys to be separated? What are the chances that someone is looking to adopt a 14 year-old and a 1 year-old at the same time?

The FISMO representative was really pushing me hard to adopt Devin's brother. I was panicked thinking that if I wasn't willing to take D***, they may not let me adopt Devin. I told her that if I were to take another child, it would be another teenager. I really feel called to care for these older kids that have very little chance of finding families. I think my social worker could see the panic on my face. It was awful!

Finally, the FISMO rep signed the papers supporting the separation of the boys. I couldn't sign the papers fast enough that said that I would support Devin's relationship with his brother. My social worker assured me that this was the last legal hurdle that we would have to overcome...let's pray that is true and nothing else pops up.

When I picked Devin up for church tonight, I couldn't help but hug him extra long. The thought of losing him at this point was overwhelming and I just had to physically hang on to him for a minute. According to the social worker, his official move-in date will be November 7th barring any problems. I'm so excited for him to be a part of our family full time!

I'm working so hard to trust God's timing in this. Today as I was pondering some of the difficulties that I foresee we may have, God gently spoke to me about how much more equipped I am to deal with these because I am an older parent and have walked down this path with my own children. All the years that I felt were wasted waiting for my husband to get on board with the adoption idea, God was using as on-the-job training for me to be able to deal with the problems that may come. I'm learning the hard way that nothing is ever wasted in God's economy or timetable.

This weekend we get our family pictures taken. I'm so excited to include my son. This is truly a dream come true for me. Please continue to pray. It really changes things!

Finally, I've attached a video of Erica, my youngest daughter and Devin at my dad's birthday party. I love to watch them laughing together. God is making us into a new family.

Second Weekend Done!

Well, we've finished our second weekend visit. According to our social worker, we only have one more weekend visit, next is a week-long visit and then comes permanent placement. At this point we are exhausted from all of the running back and forth to GOV not to mention the cost of gas and tolls. Please pray that my fatigue will not get in the way of my enthusiasm for the journey.

My brother and sister were in town this weekend for my dad's 70th birthday. Devin got to experience first-hand what it was like to have a houseful of family for a family event. He seemed to have a good time at the party...my sister and his sisters were inhaling all of the helium from the party balloons and talking like Mickey Mouse! I hope to get the videos posted soon.

I loved this picture that my brother took of Devin. He doesn't look like a foster kid any more, and so grown up! Now he looks like a member of someone's family...and I'm so thankful that it's mine!

This week we meet with a counselor from Deveraux who is supposed to help us ease into the adoption easier and I finally get my meeting with the lawyer-types about his brother on Wednesday! I'm hoping that these two meetings will help speed up the process!

Finally, I'd like to end this by asking you all to pray for my friend Jess who goes back to court tomorrow (Tuesday) for a hearing to see if the child she wants to adopt will get his parental rights terminated so that they can proceed with this process. It's so hard to see God's hand in so much of this process but we need to hold each other up in prayer, especially those of us who have walked this road and know the amazing emotional toll this takes on a family. I love you Jess and I am praying for you and Nathaniel!

Again, thank you to all of you who have prayed for us as we have walked this journey!

The Gang's All Here!

I have been looking forward to today for a long time. By 6 p.m. today, all the people I love most in the world will be together like a real family. Erin is coming home from college for the weekend (yipee!!). This is the longest we've ever been apart and I miss her desperately. Devin will also be home for the weekend so we won't be rushing him back to GOV like an overdue book. It will be so nice to have us all together if for only a little while.

My brother and sister will also be coming into town tonight. My dad celebrated his 70th birthday this week and we are going to be getting some family and friends together for a party tomorrow.

I've had some challenges with my boy this week. He got a little "vacation" from school for speaking disrespectfully to an administrator. I'm trying to help him see that he has us now to stand up for him with authority should he feel he was being treated unfairly. It's something he's going to have to learn. Also, last night we were helping him with his homework. As soon as he doesn't understand something he wants to quit or cheat himself by trying to find the answer on the internet instead of working it out himself. I don't want him to give up on himself so easily. He's a very bright kid who just hasn't been challenged to do the hard work of learning.

I keep asking God if I have the strength and tools to do this. I guess the answer is no, I don't, but God does. I want so much to be able to give Devin all that he needs and more but am still learning how to do that. Your prayers would be very much apprecited.

Well, I'm off. I've got to head to the grocery store. I'm going to have a housefull of hungry kids....I love that!

Sometimes Surprises are Good...

I just returned from our church ladies retreat so I'm pretty bleary-eyed but I wanted to share some great news!

On my way to the retreat on Friday afternoon, I got the phone call that our wonderful case worker Stacey had gotten the approval, court order and everything else necessary for Devin to begin his weekend visits! Although I wouldn't be able to be there, Devin would be able to spend his first full weekend at home with his dad and sister. It was so hard for me to be away on this first, most important weekend but it was in God's perfect timing because he and Jay had some important things to talk about and didn't need a nagging mom (that would be me!) in the middle.

If my information is correct, we only need 2 more weekend visits and then a week visit before he can be permanently placed with us.

Please continue to pray for us. It will continue to be an adjustment as we learn about each other and our boy learns what it really means to have parents and an extended family that he can lean on and trust.

Love to you all!

Why?

Do you ever wonder why things happen? Things that just seem to be cruel? Things that God could have done something about to lessen the hurt? I know my problems don't parallel world hunger or anything, but sometimes pain just seems pointless and downright mean.

Today my husband called with great news! Our social worker had run into the lady that we've been waiting to have our meeting with and convinced her to approve overnight visits for Devin. This meant that Devin could stay at the house all the way from Friday night till Sunday night. Yipeee! Even though I'll be out of the house for ladies retreat, I was so pleased that he would have some time to bond with Jay.

But of course, 5 minutes later we get a big...


Of course, all of the sudden we have a new rule that says we have to have a court order in order for him to spend the night. When is this going to end?

Please pray extra for me. I'm kind of upset that God let us get so close and then let the door get slammed in our faces one more time. He has to know how badly this hurts.

Anyway, I'm off to ladies retreat in the morning. I need some spiritual water for this thirsty, thirsty soul. Thanks for letting me vent...even if you didn't want to.

What's In A Name?

There's so much frustration and stress at all the waiting that is involved in getting this process finished, I thought I would tell you about one more really sweet thing that happened today.

First, some background. Since I always knew that God meant for me to have a boy, I picked out a boy name during my first pregnancy, and since all I got was girls, I have had to hold onto it. I always wanted to name my son Daniel Jason R***. I wanted to name a boy after his wonderful dad but because of the problems my brother has had having the same first name as my dad, I wanted to give my son his dad's name as his middle name. Was that a run-on sentence?

Anyway, tonight on the way home, Devin and I were discussing some of the legal matters that would come up at the end of his adoption. I asked him if he were going to be keeping his middle name. Devin has a very unusual middle name that I fear might make him easier to find, should someone from his past come looking for him. He told me that he didn't want to keep his middle name. I told him that he could pick out any name he wanted for his middle name. Without any hesitation, he said, "What about Jason?" My heart jumped in my chest. Devin had no idea about my wanting to name my son after his dad. I told him I thought it was a wonderful idea.

God is so amazing with his gift-giving. How precious it is to serve a God who knows the deepest desires of our heart and wants to give them to us.

Again, still no word from KHU which means our meeting probably won't happen again this week. Pray for me as I attend our church's ladies retreat this weekend. I want to spend some good time with God as I seek His reasoning on why this process has to be dragged out so long. I really need some rest for my soul.

Love to everyone!