A Day at the Lake

Wow! What a day, so exhausting and yet so blessed all wrapped into one! Not being able to take Devin home is wearing very thin...it's so tiring having to be out somewhere all the time, in the mall or at the movies. It's also getting VERY expensive! When you have to eat out every meal and pay for all of these activities the money goes quickly. My hope is though that this time and expense will pay off in the future for this dear kid.

As I sat in church today, with my husband and my son on one side, and my 2 girls on the other side I felt like the richest woman in the world. I am very close to getting the son I've always dreamed of. I have a husband who was willing to do the scary work of taking this journey with me, and I have two good girls who love the Lord and that I'm so very proud of. It's not perfect...but it's very, very good!

We had the most normal day together so far...the closest to what our actual life is like. After church we went to Panera at Lk. Eola (so we could take the dog). I think Devin has bonded with the dog more than any of us. He had never gotten to ride the swan boats so he and the girls took off for a ride.





We followed that up with some shopping...the boy didn't own a swimsuit, and then went out for dinner. As I sat at the table and listened to my little red-neck son (oh, man is this kid a red-neck!) chatter away about country music and teenager movies, I marveled at how much he had changed from the shy kid I had met just over a month ago. We have a long way to go, but God has already brought us a great distance.

Please continue to pray that our homestudy is approved quickly. It would be so wonderful to be able to bring him for his first dinner at home next weekend. I so appreciate all of you who are on this journey with us!

Free At Last!

For all of my friends that haven't already heard...MY FINGERPRINTS CAME BACK!

The last obstacle in the way of our adoption has been cleared. It's funny how God knows how to time things perfectly. I had the papers in my hands when I went to work today to go to the police station on my lunch hour to have my own fingerprints run. I had researched how to run your own FBI prints and I was headed out to do them when I got the call.

What this means is that within the week our status will be changed from "mentors" to "pre-adoptive parents." He can then come to the house and eventually stay for overnight and weekend visits in preparation for his move-in date in December.

I hope he's as excited as we are...I seriously had come to believe this day would never arrive.

Thank you for your prayers. They mean a lot!

Lessons That Need Learning

As I wait for the adoption process to slowly wind its way along, I find myself more and more anxious. I understand why people give up and decide that the whole process isn't worth it. The wait is so long and the obstacles and red tape seem unending and insurmountable. Very few things in my life have left me with such a feeling of complete powerlessness and futility.

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord. Psalm 14:1-3

I've read this passage so many times in my life but today the end really has caught my attention..many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.
What it said to me is that people should be coming to have a greater picture of who God is and developing a greater reverence for him after seeing the changes in my life as they watch me wait for God to deliver me out of my trials.

That certainly doesn't characterize my life right now. I want so badly to be able to wait patiently but right now I don't even know what that looks like. My dear friend Brandi challenged me today to learn what Jesus has for me in this low time right now. Please pray that I do...as much as I want this to be over, I don't want to leave this time without learing something amazing about God's love for me or Devin.

Many of my friends and I experience Tropical Storm Faye last week. We had almost 4 days of constant storm and rain which is not typical for Florida. We get short bursts in the late afternoon, but to rain for days on end is unusual. By the end of the week we were all pretty nuts because it just wouldn't stop raining! Late on Friday I saw a report that showed how the storm had helped to relieve our drought situation here in Florida. The rain had brought relief to some seriously thirsty ground! Please pray that as my storm lingers, that God would show me which areas of my life need to be saturated with his love and care and that I would receive it.

I am loving getting to know my boy. He seems much more relaxed and comfortable with every visit. He has joined Erica in seriously giving me grief about clothes and my age and other things that teenagers nag you about. We had a sweet day shopping on Saturday and going to church and dinner on Sunday. I know that someday this trial will give way to a sweet relationship that will last forever.

A Little Good News

I just wanted to let all of you know who have been praying for us that today we were made official "mentors" for Devin. It's a small step in the process, but it's great progress. What it means is that we get 2 visits and 1 phone call per week UNSUPERVISED! I'm so excited to get him all to ourselves for a little while. Angela, will be out of town on vacation this month so we also get to bring Devin to church with us for next few weeks! I'm so anxious for my church family to get to know him.

When I spoke with Stacey our social worker she told me to wait and let Devin call us first when he was comfortable. Tonight he called and kept me on the phone for an hour and a half! The boy can chat! It was so great that he felt so comfortable to go on and on about his life. He's excited about getting his sports physical so he can run track when he transfers to Ocoee High. What a sweetie!

Anyway, thank you for praying. God's timing is perfect because I was about to come unglued from waiting. Now for those darn fingerprints from the FBI...

God bless all my fabulous friends!

Tears and Cheers

The time has come once again to send Erin back to college. I honestly thought that it would be much easier to have her leave this year since she had already been away for her first school year. It's amazing how quickly I got used to having her home and how quickly things seemed the way they had always been...and now she's leaving again. I prayed with a friend this morning who was sending her daughter off to college for the first time. For all of you moms going through the same thing...I am praying for you. I constantly remind myself of God's great love for my Erin and the fact that He does not need my meddling to work out his amazing plan for her life. Just who do I think I am anyway??? Pray for me that I will keep my big nose out of places it doesn't belong and I give Erin the wings she needs to grow and mature.

I can't believe that Erica starts her SENIOR year tomorrow! This was the one that I vowed I wouldn't let grow up...I have no idea where the time went. I plan to savor every moment of this last year.

Finally, Devin invited us to his church tonight as the young adults took over the evening service. During the service, I began to feel such guilt that we would be taking him away from his church and his friends and wondering if he was really going to want to make this change. Afterwards, we went out for ice cream and talked about the upcoming school year. Before we left the restaurant, he pulled a bag out from under the table and handed it to me. It contained all of the medals and trophies that he had won in the Olympics last week. He gave me one of his gold medals to keep in my car and the rest to keep at our house. I have this overwhelming sense of gratitude and reverence and I can't put my finger on the source. I was so touched that he would give me these treasures. My heart was bursting!

Please continue to pray that our visitation status is changed this week so that we can take him out unsupervised. I have faith that God's timing in this situation is perfect!

We're Halfway There!

No sooner had the digital ink dried on my last blog, I got a call from the social worker. She told me that she had talked with her supervisor and that since "technically" we were mentoring Devin, they decided that on Monday when she returns from vacation, she will list Jay and I as additional mentors in his case plan. That means we can take him out unsupervised!!!

We can't take him home yet, that takes the whole FBI thing, but is a GIANT step in the right direction. He can now come to church, youth group, and the list goes on, without a chaperon or social worker.

God is so gracious to answer this prayer that we didn't even think to pray! What a gift to make the next 30 days easier!

Bad News and a Brave Request!

I don't remember the last time that I felt brave...like GRRR!, brave...do you know what I mean? Over the last few days I've thought often of the Gary Haugen statement that, "Christ did not die to make us safe, but to make us brave." I want so much to make that part of my life.

Today, I received some disappointing news. You all know how we've waited for my FBI background check to come back so that we can bring Devin home for visits and get to spend some real, quality time with him. Well, I got a call from the social worker today informing me that the FBI had finally found my fingerprints, but they were having difficulty reading them. (I have an injury to my right hand that prevents me from fully extending my ring finger to get a proper fingerprint.) Anyway, the prints have to be sent to a completely different department and we will now be looking at another 30 days before my background check will be completed. It was like a knife though my heart! I was sure today was going to be the day it was over, and now I'm learning that I have at least 4 more weeks!

Of course, I cried for awhile, as the frustration mounted within me. God, if this is supposed to happen, why all the obstacles? This kid is 14 and not getting any younger after all. I've racked my brain trying to figure out who I know that has contacts in the FBI, (that number =0). As I was pouring my heart out to God, I kept telling Him that He was the highest ranking guy I knew to go to and asked Him for direction as to what to do.

In a moment of either God-directed brilliance or just a sad mother's desperation, I had the idea to email President Bush. I figure he has the number to the FBI and a little pull. I found the website and promptly poured out my heart to him as well.

Now I have no idea if this will ever reach him or have any affect on anything, the point is that I'm never that brave. I'm very aware of what a fruitless effort that email probably was, but rather than worrying about what people would do when they found out I did it, I just did it and sat back and felt brave for the first time in a very long time. Hey, you have to start small...but it feels GOOD!

As a funny p.s. to this, in my daily Bible reading, the reading for today is when Nehemiah asked King Artaxerxes to let him go and repair the walls of Jerusalem. This verse stuck out to me as wildly appropriate for my day:

O Lord, please hear my prayer! Listen to the prayers of those of us who delight in honoring you. Please grant me success now as I go to ask the king for a great favor. Put it into his heart to be kind to me. Nehemiah 1:11

This is my prayer today. As always, I'll keep you posted. I cherish all of you who are praying for us.

A New Name and A Fresh Point of View

In different times and in different ways, our heavenly Father offers us a simple proposition: Follow me beyond what you can control, beyond where your own strength and competencies can take you, and beyond what is affirmed or risked by the crowd-and you will experience me and my power and my wisdom and my love.
Jesus beckons me to follow him to that place of weakness when I risk the vulnerability of a child so that I might know how strong my Father is and how much he loves me.
- From Just Courage by Gary A. Haugen

So many people, when they find out about our adoption plans, especially of a 14 year-old, can't help themselves. They have to tell us how crazy we are and how much this is going to change our lives. (like we didn't already know) I so appreciated Gary Haugen's talk because it affirmed in me that as Christians, WE ARE supposed to be the ones doing the crazy things that God is passionate about. One of his quotes was, "If God is passionate about getting it done, then He is also responsible forgetting it done. God simply asks us to give what we have.".

My confidence is great in these truths:
God is loves the world.
God is passionate about the poor, widows, orphans and those who cannot help themselves.
My passion and calling from God lines up with His in these areas.
Therefore, God will be responsible for getting it done.

I know it won't be easy, and sometimes it won't be fun. But how can we stand by and simply offer lip service to the things God has called us to do?

That being said, let me share a couple of pictures from my day yesterday. By the way, Demetree has informed me that he will be changing his name to Devin, so from this point forward I will be referring to him as Devin because I need the practice.

The GOV where Devin lives, held an Olympics and I was invited to attend. I am so excited because every visit gets more comfortable and he talks more openly with me. This also means every visit gets scarier because the reality of a teen aged boy is setting in and I realize how unequipped I may be!

He won all of the events that he was entered in and seemed very pleased that I was taking picture of everything. He said, "I guess you'll be posting these on the internet, huh?" He invited me to stay for the medals ceremony and was proud to pose with his medals.

My prayer for just some time to sit in the quiet and talk to him was graciously answered by God. He rambled on about shoes and cars and various other things, but we talked and he looked me in the eye and it was good - and scary!

But, as Gary Haugen says, "Jesus didn't die to make us safe, but to make us brave!"
God made us for adventure and it's just about to start!

Gifts, Large and Small

John 14:27
"I am leaving you with a gift — peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid. NLT

In these trying days, peace is what I have been praying for. Not only in the areas of the adoption, but in all of life. As I head into my last 6 weeks of my Apologetics class and deal with the ups and downs of family life, peace seems like a fleeting luxury in our lives.

As I meditated on this passage today in my quiet time, it occurred to me that this kind of peace is readily available to me, mine for the taking. Like the precious gift of salvation, freely offered to all, but that which must be accepted and taken hold of by the individual, this amazing peace is a gift that Jesus left for me when returned to the Father. It is up to me to take hold of and claim that peace. It's not something I need to wait around for. And because of the provision of peace that Jesus has made, He can command us not to be troubled or afraid.

That being said, I did receive another sweet gift of words today. We had lunch with Demetree, Angela and a family from their church at a local Chinese buffet. When lunch was over, we were all opening our fortune cookies. Demetree opened his fortune cookie and handed the fortune across the table to me and said, "This is a funny coincidence." The fortune said. "A funny, beautiful and loving person will enter your life." I wanted to cry right then and there. This is what my friend Terri calls a kiss from God. I am so pleased with the way our visits are progressing. I am trying not to get ahead of the schedule, but I feel more and more confirmation from God each day. Thank you all for praying!

Demetree has invited me to come and watch him run in the GOV Olympics on Thursday night. I'll be so proud to be there for him.

I'll keep you posted.