New Year's Thoughts

Disclaimer: This blog is my journey through what God is teaching me right now. I'm sure that there will be times when I am off or simply wrong. I am indeed a work in progress. So if you disagree with my blog or anything I say, please just pray for God to reveal wisdom to me, and resist the urge to write me nasty comments. This is just me, stumbling along in some tough circumstances, trying to see how God wants to change me.

A new year has begun -roughly to add. I think with the advent a new year there is the hope that this one will be different, this one will bring the change I've long for for so long. Sadly, most of the time there's little change, few milestones over the past year to look back on and feel a real sense of accomplishment for. For many of us, especially parents, the years seem to melt one into the next until suddenly you realize that a great portion of your life is a faint, however blurry memory. And like a person looking at a tremendous credit card bill with no idea of what he purchased for that great debt, we wonder if our lives have or ever will accomplish anything significant or memorable.

Now I'm not trying to be depressing. What I'm pondering is that a meaningful life is a life that is built on purpose. Great, long-lasting moments, achievements and those things worth remembering both my yourself and by others don't usually just happen or happen by accident. Purposeful life means putting yourself out there in places where God can use you.

This doesn't mean that it's going to be done without much fear and trepidation. I reminded myself of this as I walked into a party last night full of people and was seized with the fear that no one there would want to talk with me. I'll admit, I did go hide in an office for awhile, but then I reminded myself of my purpose went back out and did my best to build relationships. If things are to change, one must lean on the will much more than on the emotions. As I was meditating yesterday, I found a quote from Tozer that says it all for me.

"God never intended that such a being as mankind should become the mere plaything of his or her feelings. The only good that God recognizes is the willed good. The only valid holiness is a willed holiness."

Willed good. Willed holiness. A life purposefully lived. That about says it all for my goals for 2010.